


The Textbook

by rae_scribbler



Series: Would You Rather Be A Mule? [2]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Aziraphale is "just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing" (Good Omens), Dialogue Heavy, Librarian Aziraphale (Good Omens), M/M, Mild Language, No Plot/Plotless, Post-Canon, Professor Crowley (Good Omens), Twenty Years Later
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:06:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24457162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rae_scribbler/pseuds/rae_scribbler
Summary: "This author has no idea what he’s talking about,” Crowley grumbled, flipping aggressively through the pages.Crowley gets upset by a history textbook.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: Would You Rather Be A Mule? [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1766431
Comments: 2
Kudos: 45





	The Textbook

"What the ever-loving fuck," Crowley hissed, mostly to himself, "isss this rubbish?"

He was flipping through a textbook Aziraphale had brought home. On paper, Aziraphale worked as a librarian in every library on campus. Miraculously, no one batted an eye when he regularly borrowed more books than was strictly allowed.

Aziraphale looked up from his novel. "What is it, my dear?"

"This author has no idea what he’s talking about,” Crowley grumbled, flipping aggressively through the pages. “Look at this. Hasn’t got a clue what Latin American socialism actually stood for. How do you figure that one?”

Aziraphale shrugged. “Must be American.”

Crowley continued to scan the chapters, becoming more and more incensed. “What kind of Latin American history book doesn't take the relevant African cultures into account?”

“My dear boy,” said Aziraphale patiently, "Historical accounts of colonialism have always been biased. There are many historically inaccurate books in the world. You needn’t get worked up over all of them.”

“I’m not getting worked up!” said Crowley, getting worked up. “And this doesn't look like just any book, it looks like a textbook.”

Aziraphale sipped his cocoa. “That’s because it is.” 

“Textbookss have an obligation to be accurate.”

“Then perhaps you should write one yourself.”

“More ssso than any other type of book, theoretically.”

“Although that would require some actual research, as it would not be an acceptable source to state that you had lived through the 16th century.”

“I was in Europe at the time, anyway.”

“Precisely.”

Crowley was still appalled. “This an actual textbook for a course, then, yeah?” 

Crowley obviously wasn’t going to let this go. Aziraphale bit down a smile. “Yes. I believe the course has a new professor this year,” he said airily.

Crowley snorted. “I don’t think much of his choice of textbook." He stood abruptly. “I need some wine.”

Crowley liked people. More than necessary, really. But there were many people in academia that made Crowley’s life a headache, and he found they were often better tolerated with alcohol. It was possible he had become too invested in this country’s education system, despite his best intentions. But it was a little late to do anything about that now.

They drank around the kitchen table for a while. The conversation went in circles.

“I have no obligation to live an ethical life,” Crowley complained, sloshing the wine around his glass.

“You never did,” said Aziraphale. “Quite the opposite, in fact.”

“It’s just this teaching shit.” Crowley made it sound foul. “It feels like… a responsibility. Like some bloody... fiduciary duty or ssomething.”

Aziraphale grinned. “You have rather a lot of integrity for a demon.”

“Shut up,” Crowley muttered, polishing off his wine with a large swig. His protestations seemed to weaken with each of Aziraphale’s “compliments”. He was getting soft in his old age.

Aziraphale topped up his glass. “Human perception of historical events warps the facts. It always has. You and I have seen it time and again. That’s just the way it goes.”

“Jesus,” Crowley said.

Aziraphale bristled. “Really, Crowley…”

“Didn’t mean it like that,” Crowley interrupted. “Just meant their perception of Jesus. As an example.”

“Oh. Yes,” said Aziraphale. “Exactly.”

Crowley stared at the bottle on the table for a few moments without really seeing it. Aziraphale sipped his wine quietly.

“Well, I guess I’ll have to check out this history class,” Crowley sighed, resignation in his voice.

If Crowley had looked at Aziraphale, he might have seen something like triumph outlining his features.

"I just so happen to have a copy of the syllabus," said the angel.


End file.
